just breathe

This week, I’ve slowly and gently returned back to “my normal.” I’m sitting in my backyard right now, breathing in some fresh spring Jersey air. Last week at Write Doe Bay was amazing. I’m still processing it, but walked away back in touch with something I’d lost touch with over the years. As I’m thinking on all that, returning to my commitment to yoga has been an important immediate step. Yoga has never been a consistent part of my workout routine. Around 15 years ago, I’d occasionally go to a class here and there when I lived in South Florida – more enchanted by the rustic wood cabin where it took place than the class I was attending. I began to wonder over the last few months if it could be good for me as a next step in my fitness journey  

In my earlier years of my practice, I never focused on my breath. The teacher mentioned it often – in every class. For some reason I assumed the real focus was on the various poses. When the same came up in my prenatal yoga classes, I still was focused on my body position – how flexible I was (or, more often than not, wasn’t) and how uncomfortable I was with my basketball-like belly. Down to the delivery room, where I forgot the one thing our mom group leader mentioned was so important in the birth process. With my attention not focused where it should be, I found myself with an oxygen mask on my face in attempts to get my breathing stabilized.

Just breathe.

It’s something my mom would always say to me. I can’t take a class without thinking of her. Without that reminder. I have it in countless texts. Two simple words that hold so much truth in them.

I started slow. In February, I did five classes. In March, 12. Most classes have only been 20 minutes and have been in the morning. I’ve taken a variety of types – morning/evening yoga, core, hip opener, lower body, twisting flow, heart opening flow, total body and power yoga – through Colleen Saidman Yee’s classes for Peloton Yoga.

I’m not going to lie. The first several days were a bit tough. My alarm would go off and I’d instantly start to convince myself that those last 40 minutes of sleep are the best sleep I get out of the entire time I’m in bed, so clearly giving this time up would not be wise. I’d push past that and make myself downstairs to our basement where I’ve set up a basement yoga studio of sorts.

For so long after my mom’s unexpected passing, I couldn’t sit still. I think in large part because I didn’t want to be surrounded by only quiet and my thoughts. I wanted to read, but couldn’t focus. I wanted to write, but nothing would come. Yoga has really helped me with all of this. Sitting in our basement with no more than a candle lit and the glow of my iPad, I committed to 20 minutes of being still. Of me, the quiet and my thoughts.

I used to think 20 minutes of exercise like this wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t enough. Now? Now it’s exactly what I need, and I can’t get enough. I miss it when I skip a few days, and I’m relieved when I find myself back at the mat. I’m working my way through other yoga apps and programs and will be doing more posts here to share what I’ve found during my journey.

What exercise helps you to reset? And are you on Peloton as well? If so, let’s connect (I’m SpinIt2DinnIt) and encourage each other.