I’ll be the first to admit, it wasn’t a happy New Year. No big New Year’s plans and no compelling need to see 12:01. Whereas I don’t think I could keep my eyes open last year with our three month old, this time I had no interest in it. I think we went to bed around 10PM and the next morning, I tried to pretend it was just another chilly day. With each “Happy New Year” I had to nod and agree to in passing, I looked to the calendar, wondering when that would finally fade from being the preferred greeting. Because to me, it’s not. The idea of a New Year with no new memories with my mom was – and still is – unbearable. But here we are just the same.
Usually I’m excited about planning the New Year and thinking through my resolutions but, no surprise, I didn’t do that for 2018. Now we’re one month in, and the only goals I have really set are for my day job. I just finally sent out the last of our holiday cards today, haven’t worked out since New Year’s Day (my one nod to January 1st, a five year tradition I’ve had) and I’ve been embracing eating pretty much whatever I’ve wanted to consume.
Time to cut that all off and set some resolutions? No. No way. This year is different in so many ways. It’s going to be. It has to be – whether I want it to or not.
A friend of mine posted an image on Facebook containing the below text towards the end of 2017 and it stuck with me. I don’t know where it’s from, but I liked it a lot. There’s a lot of truth in it. Why come December 31st is there suddenly all of these things wrong with us?
Ditch the resolutions.
To resolve means to find a solution to a problem.
You are not a problem.
The way you showed up for your life the past year
was necessary for your growth.
Now is a time to reflect. To learn.
To create an intention, a positive call to shift,
a spark of magic + manifestation
rooted in self-love
and backed with action.
Instead of resolving to accomplish something that’s going to add another layer of stress or a new item to the to-do list that’s going to linger indefinitely, I’m doing something entirely different in 2018. I’m picking a theme for the year – a promise to myself of sorts.
It’s simple, yet hard in its own way. 2018 for me is a year of kind, both with myself and in my interactions with others. That means big things but also all those little thing – being okay with things being messy, with not being able to find a grin some days, occasionally taking too long to find the words to reply to messages and having an impossible time getting back to my overarching goal of long-form writing.
Kindness is linked to both emotional and health benefits. Research shows that it’s helpful not only when you’re kind to yourself, but when you’re kind to others. My goal in making this my sole focus for the year is that not only will I stick with it, but that I will start to notice a difference because of it. Even if it didn’t have the other benefits to it, knowing it has the potential to help inspire another generation as our little boy looks on is reason enough for this to be my commitment.
Keep an eye on some of the things and ways I’m embracing “kind” here and on Instagram, where I’ll be tagging things #akind2018.
How are you approaching resolutions this year? How has that been going so far for 2018?